When I decided to order sod, a lot of people questioned the timing. I don't own the home yet, I don't know if I'll ever own it. The yard could have been prepped better, the summer was especially hot and laying sod in mid July is rarely a good idea. But, I had strong feelings that I needed to order it then and nothing could persuade me to postpone it. This is something I do a lot, and sometimes it's probably just my own impatience more than an answer to prayer and pondering. Well, in the last few weeks a few things have happened to show me why I was meant to order the sod when I did.
The kids' dad has been out of work for a minor injury. He may need surgery in the near future, and just a few days ago it occurred to me "if he's out of work, I'm out that child support." This past week, I got $9.25 and obviously that isn't going to cut it. However, knowing that my landlord is reimbursing me for the sod (actually I am just skipping rent for a couple months) means that the timing was perfect and God knew this was going to happen, and when it was going to happen.
Of course there is a lot more to the story, things have fallen perfectly into place that remind me how real God is, how aware he is of me, and no matter how insignificant I may feel at times, I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.
Often when we follow a prompting or jump into something with pure faith, we don't immediately see the results of such a decision. Sometimes we never see the results (at least not in THIS life). I tend to question my decisions a lot. Did I do the right thing? Did I think this through well enough? What is going to happen next? These questions, and many others always flood my mind when I "jump in" and I don't always have immediate confirmation that it was faith vs. impatience.I struggle with doubt more often than I care to admit. My testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is firm, never waivering. However I often wonder "why" and question my Heavenly Father's plan for me.
I know that the Son of God suffered greatly for not only my mistakes, but for my pains. My heart can be healed as quickly as it was hurt. Every tear I shed, is something the savior willingly took upon himself. I can't stop the heartache, the hurt, the doubts and struggles. But I can fix it. I hope that I can teach my kids the same things it's taken me years to learn.
No comments:
Post a Comment