While eating dinner, I looked at my first born daughter. My beautiful Karleah "barley". I don't remember the words we spoke, but I had such a strong feeling, like deja vu, but not like I'd ever experienced before.
I recalled "watching" that moment before. When I was at a low point during the divorce. When I was losing faith in His plan for me. I remembered the moment I felt the presence of TJ next to me, without seeing or knowing him. Without even knowing if the baby I sensed was a boy or a girl. I recalled looking at a teenage daughter, a tween son, Carson, Vanessa, and Faith were older but I know my babies.
I remember peace washing over me as I knew this was my future. Part of His plan for me. The present - day me remembered knowing my husband was picking up my step children. I knew that this was my beautiful, happy, future life.
I recall knowing that I wouldn't remember what I was witnessing. Knowing that it was just a glimpse given to me when I needed hope.
As I relived this moment for the first time, I was reminded what a beautiful life I've been blessed with. Blending a family is hard. I get frustrated, discouraged, angry, depressed, and I often fall short of being the person I know I should be.
In that moment, I was given just as much peace and comfort as I had been given years before. My faith in His plan was again strengthened, and I am so grateful for the reminder.
