I talked to Jason during breakfast. My sweet Emily was screaming and cooing. I miss that delightful squeal. TJ Woke up a few minutes later and said "Hi. Mom. Miss you!" and I cried. I asked Jason to tell some of the ladies in the ward to visit me for lunch. I could use something to break the monotony! Even if it is uncomfortable.....
My goal today is to talk to my mom. I tried to call but she was probably asleep. If she was awake, she probably ignored the restricted name on caller ID. I'll try again.
I talked to the Dr that heads up the ECT. She said I am the perfect candidate. I felt so validated! I can't explain how wonderful it felt to hear that this life-long battle with depression has a "real-life" medical treatment. It will basically "reset" y brain while I adjust to new medications. First treatment will be on Friday. As scary as it sounds, I can't wait to get started!
Another girl arrived yesterday. I was relieved to have someone else here on "unit" with me. (Unit is when you have to stay in blue scrubs and can't leave the floor for breaks or meals. And there are no privileges for the media room.) She was off unit by breakfast. It was discouraging. Then Katie, (a very obnoxious, loud, young girl) told me she has been here over two weeks and I was so nervous that I will be, too. Having that talk with the ECT doctor was very helpful. Then Katie gave me a card she colored, it says "you are one of God's best creations!" I keep reading this to remind myself that I have value!
I also got to play piano for about an hour, and talked to Jody. It felt good to share some of the details with someone (other than Jason...) I felt the spirit so strong (which has been a challenge lately) so I'm feeling very light right now.
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